Sunday, December 23, 2012

Backstabbing, hate and more hate

If you’re still reading my blog, thank you. If you just started reading it, then thank you and please don’t give up on me! Last time I’ve been part of society, I didn’t really realize that it’s a jungle out there! Survival of the strongest. Really?? Since when! In all my years of employment I happened to have developed a syndrome. It’s called anti-backstabbing bitches syndrome. Seriously! What gives? I’ve switched employers a couple of times and my last employer. Well, let’s just not get there! Well, let’s! Why not! After all that’s the whole purpose of this blog isn’t it? Bashing people! In the last two years I happened to work with people who apparently have different mentalities than I’m used to. How you ask? Well, wait for the gory details! I don’t really understand the sense of insecurity a lot of people in our society suffer from, but apparently it existed way long before I’ve been part of it. I happen to have a good sense of fashion (yes I do! Live with it!) so on my first day of work, I had no idea my reputation has raced me all the way to the office. People were both intimidated and resentful of me. Even before seeing me. My name was probably too tainted for them (or was it my masters degree??) anyway, picture this! My first day in the office, I enter the office with a smile on my face and greet the “ladies” in there. And let me tell you that I don’t exaggerate when I say this, but there were two men and 20 women in that department. My first reaction was, oh crap! Tangible tangible negativity! So a new employee walks in (yours truly) and people just decide to hate her! I sat there on my desk extremely shocked. I mean when you think about it. Why would people just decide to hate you when they haven’t even said hello to you? That still blows my mind every time I remember it. For two months, they just decided that I wasn’t worth talking to. I tried complimenting their abayas (I cringe just thinking about it) pretending to be interested in whatever they like, etc etc. them on the other hand, refused to work with me, eat with me, respond to my morning greetings. three months of complete ignorance. In normal circumstances I normally confront someone who’d treat me like that, but on this case I just decided that maybe I should simply back off a little bit and observe. Of course in those three months I have been emotionally abused to the bone. The hints, the remarks and the tangible negativity in the air that had literally made the air thick! It was really awkward. Every morning I’d enter the office and greet invisible people who simply pretended that I haven’t existed. To make things worse, they started talking behind my back to others in other departments. Everybody around me knew of their jealousy. There was this time when a guy from a different department (and a different floor) has literally approached me to tell me not to let them get to me because they’re jealous. It took me three months to break the ice. They have realized that I really suck in the house department. I can’t cook, I can’t properly clean and I don’t understand the stuff they understand when it comes to soug al jomla (wholesale market). I think that broke the ice for them because they realized that probably I’m not as knowledgeable as they thought I was. I never pretended to know everything! I have an attention span of a fish! How would I be wise? Seriously! But guess what, that wasn’t the whole picture. They didn’t stop talking behind my back. Well ignoring me for a second, I was able to observe the environment as a whole. I realized that everybody talked behind everybody’s back. It was like a rite of passage. Befriend someone, talk behind their back and suddenly you’re likeable. Everybody would be your friend. Not because they liked you, but because you were able to extract the juicy secrets about someone and used them against them. It was weird to me to see how okay it seemed for two best friends to kiss and hug, but bitch about each other and backstab them. God forbid if an employee got a promotion. If it’s a guy, then he’s friends with the big wigs. If it’s a female employee then oh yes she slept around. It was too toxic. I couldn’t (and still can’t) believe that the mentality of some local women was this tainted. I’ve never worked with this big number of Emirati women before. The majority of my generation has probably gone to private schools, universities like Zayed where the education is mainly western or they have at least been watching shows like gossip girls, friends and desperate housewives. This has shaped them a little bit differently, and the fact that most of us in the working field have gotten mixed with people from different cultures, beliefs, genders and backgrounds has exposed us to different forms of working environments. The environment I have been working within in the last two years is different. I have been able to see a different side of the female spirit. Watch Hareem Al Sultan, it’s the same exact environment. The deceit, the backstabbing and the plotting, it’s the same exact spirit, and it’s really sad. Instead of them focusing on what would make them better people, they were focusing on how to stop the new people from applying new thoughts and ideas to the departments so they don’t look bad. Well I’ve reached my limits and to me enough was enough. You want to know the funny part? They begged me not to leave (but still bitched about me behind my back anyway. It’s what they do best) they keep telling me that “mekanee khalee” and I shouldn’t have resigned. What happened to me you say? Well I’m having the time of my life writing this blog. I’m not trying to expose them as human beings, but if you find yourself addressing the negative before the positive, seeing the worst in people instead of their best traits, well you’re one of them! And you’re doomed for life! No I’m just kidding! Just remember karma is a bitch! If you’re backstabbing someone, then beware because they might be writing a blog entry about you somewhere. I have noticed that in our society, this is not backstabbing. Simply, it’s addressing the flaws we don’t want to have (or so a lot of us think). Remember, you are not the judge of the looks, the behaviors, the clothes, the makeup, the upbringing and the environment. Hating on people for no reason would only affect you. You would grow to be bitter, despiteful and you will never be able to develop yourself as a person. You would simply be thinking about nothing but how to put people down only to feel good about yourself. Just because they get promoted and you don’t, it doesn’t mean that they slept their way to the top. Look within yourself and you’ll see what a little negative bitch you have been all along. It’s not them, it’s you. Love yourself, only then you’ll be able to cleanse your soul from all the hate you have for the world around you. Remember there are always people who are better looking, have better education and speak better English than you do. Don’t hate them for what they have achieved; love yourself to learn to step up to their level. In that office, I was the younger woman who has a master’s degree and her own sense of style. I think I just reminded them of everything they are not. Don’t be like that. People you know were not created by Allah to piss you off and disturb your buzz! They’re not there to mess up your mood. They are individuals who happened to probably work a little bit harder than you do. So don’t take their success as a personal offense to you. They did not do it to piss you off. You probably didn’t even cross their minds when they have gotten a higher degree, or bought that Abaya you couldn’t afford, or barged into the office in those louboutins you only saw online. Get over yourselves. If you’re not like that, then never change who you are, be yourself and celebrate with me, because life is a satire.   

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