New day, new entry. I guess married life is always full of surprises.
When I first got married (and I’m sure all of you feel the same way) I expected
friendlier in laws (oh we’ll leave those for another entry for sure, FOR SURE).
There is something I don’t understand, I mean if you have a married brother in
law you might get it. Unless you were the first daughter in law, then you’d be
on the other side of this entry! (which I hope NOT). Okay, here’s this thing;
after my honeymoon, I got to meet my brother in law’s wife and FYI she’s the
first daughter in law. Okay jealous sisters in law.. I understand that, I kinda
sort of do! Okay I stole their brother bla bla bla whatever! But the brother in
law’s wife.. why on earth would you just feel so threatened by the existence of
a brother in law’s wife? I mean really.. WHY?! It’s not like I stole your
husband or anything! So anyway, my brother in law’s wife is sweet. We never
tried to get along because we live too different lives and we have totally
nothing in common, but I guess we’re both way too formal with each other. I
mean, it never occurred to me why she’s never there when I’m there. I just
assumed she’s busy with her family, her mother, her sisters and she probably
have her own schedule or “routine”. Of course I noticed her trying to push her
sister in my husband’s way. E.g. we were at my in laws’ and she calls her
sister to tell her that my husband was there. Her sister comes in and all of
her attention was projected on my husband. Most of the time (and this was no
different) I don’t pay attention to stuff like that, only because I’m above that. Then one day, my sister in laws tells me that
my brother in law’s wife got into an argument with everybody because I’m paying
more attention to my sisters in law and not to her. From my pervious entry you
would conclude that I either have a social problem with other female figures in
my life, or I simply don’t understand what goes in the mind of others. Well.. I
think I have both problems. When I first got married she tried provoking me by
paying way too much attention to my husband only to get me jealous and mad. I
admit that I was really mad, because of how rude she was. I just never showed
it. I have a friend (who is the muse behind this blog by the way) who has an
almost identical problem with her brother in law’s wife. What is it with
brother in laws’ wives? If you’re married and have the same problem or at least
understand it, can you please comment on this entry and help me understand the
concept behind the jealousy here? I mean seriously! What do they want? What’s
that thing we’re depriving them from? I know we’re not stealing their husbands
or anything and I admit I’m not my in laws favorite (not that I care!) but she
is! So, shouldn’t I be the jealous one here? I know my single brothers in law
will eventually get married and I wish them all the luck in the world. You know
what’s ironic? I found out lately that she was expecting my husband to marry
her sister. Well apparently it didn’t happen! And her sister married a guy she
has been in love with for years! So isn’t this a win win situation? She’s happy
for her sister, but not for her brother in law. Can anyone please figure this
out with me? Unsolved the riddle? Find an answer to the mystery? At least we
might be able to figure out how people think. So do me a favor, if you’re in my
shoes lets all figure it out. If you’re on the other side of this situation,
please try to love everyone around you. Jealousy is a very very unhealthy
thing. Cleanse yourself from the inside. Take a deep breath. Inhale deeply and
exhale as all negativity leaves your being. Celebrate with me, because life is
a satire.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Backstabbing, hate and more hate
If you’re still reading my blog, thank you. If you just started reading
it, then thank you and please don’t give up on me! Last time I’ve been part of
society, I didn’t really realize that it’s a jungle out there! Survival of the
strongest. Really?? Since when! In all my years of employment I happened to
have developed a syndrome. It’s called anti-backstabbing bitches syndrome.
Seriously! What gives? I’ve switched employers a couple of times and my last
employer. Well, let’s just not get there! Well, let’s! Why not! After all
that’s the whole purpose of this blog isn’t it? Bashing people! In the last two
years I happened to work with people who apparently have different mentalities
than I’m used to. How you ask? Well, wait for the gory details! I don’t really
understand the sense of insecurity a lot of people in our society suffer from,
but apparently it existed way long before I’ve been part of it. I happen to
have a good sense of fashion (yes I do! Live with it!) so on my first day of
work, I had no idea my reputation has raced me all the way to the office.
People were both intimidated and resentful of me. Even before seeing me. My
name was probably too tainted for them (or was it my masters degree??) anyway,
picture this! My first day in the office, I enter the office with a smile on my
face and greet the “ladies” in there. And let me tell you that I don’t
exaggerate when I say this, but there were two men and 20 women in that
department. My first reaction was, oh crap! Tangible tangible negativity! So a
new employee walks in (yours truly) and people just decide to hate her! I sat
there on my desk extremely shocked. I mean when you think about it. Why would
people just decide to hate you when they haven’t even said hello to you? That
still blows my mind every time I remember it. For two months, they just decided
that I wasn’t worth talking to. I tried complimenting their abayas (I cringe
just thinking about it) pretending to be interested in whatever they like, etc
etc. them on the other hand, refused to work with me, eat with me, respond to
my morning greetings. three months of complete ignorance. In normal
circumstances I normally confront someone who’d treat me like that, but on this
case I just decided that maybe I should simply back off a little bit and
observe. Of course in those three months I have been emotionally abused to the
bone. The hints, the remarks and the tangible negativity in the air that had
literally made the air thick! It was really awkward. Every morning I’d enter
the office and greet invisible people who simply pretended that I haven’t
existed. To make things worse, they started talking behind my back to others in
other departments. Everybody around me knew of their jealousy. There was this
time when a guy from a different department (and a different floor) has
literally approached me to tell me not to let them get to me because they’re
jealous. It took me three months to break the ice. They have realized that I
really suck in the house department. I can’t cook, I can’t properly clean and I
don’t understand the stuff they understand when it comes to soug al jomla
(wholesale market). I think that broke the ice for them because they realized
that probably I’m not as knowledgeable as they thought I was. I never pretended
to know everything! I have an attention span of a fish! How would I be wise?
Seriously! But guess what, that wasn’t the whole picture. They didn’t stop
talking behind my back. Well ignoring me for a second, I was able to observe
the environment as a whole. I realized that everybody talked behind everybody’s
back. It was like a rite of passage. Befriend someone, talk behind their back
and suddenly you’re likeable. Everybody would be your friend. Not because they
liked you, but because you were able to extract the juicy secrets about someone
and used them against them. It was weird to me to see how okay it seemed for
two best friends to kiss and hug, but bitch about each other and backstab them.
God forbid if an employee got a promotion. If it’s a guy, then he’s friends
with the big wigs. If it’s a female employee then oh yes she slept around. It
was too toxic. I couldn’t (and still can’t) believe that the mentality of some
local women was this tainted. I’ve never worked with this big number of Emirati
women before. The majority of my generation has probably gone to private
schools, universities like Zayed where the education is mainly western or they
have at least been watching shows like gossip girls, friends and desperate
housewives. This has shaped them a little bit differently, and the fact that
most of us in the working field have gotten mixed with people from different
cultures, beliefs, genders and backgrounds has exposed us to different forms of
working environments. The environment I have been working within in the last
two years is different. I have been able to see a different side of the female
spirit. Watch Hareem Al Sultan, it’s the same exact environment. The deceit,
the backstabbing and the plotting, it’s the same exact spirit, and it’s really
sad. Instead of them focusing on what would make them better people, they were
focusing on how to stop the new people from applying new thoughts and ideas to
the departments so they don’t look bad. Well I’ve reached my limits and to me
enough was enough. You want to know the funny part? They begged me not to leave
(but still bitched about me behind my back anyway. It’s what they do best) they
keep telling me that “mekanee khalee” and I shouldn’t have resigned. What
happened to me you say? Well I’m having the time of my life writing this blog.
I’m not trying to expose them as human beings, but if you find yourself
addressing the negative before the positive, seeing the worst in people instead
of their best traits, well you’re one of them! And you’re doomed for life! No
I’m just kidding! Just remember karma is a bitch! If you’re backstabbing someone,
then beware because they might be writing a blog entry about you somewhere. I
have noticed that in our society, this is not backstabbing. Simply, it’s
addressing the flaws we don’t want to have (or so a lot of us think). Remember,
you are not the judge of the looks, the behaviors, the clothes, the makeup, the
upbringing and the environment. Hating on people for no reason would only
affect you. You would grow to be bitter, despiteful and you will never be able
to develop yourself as a person. You would simply be thinking about nothing but
how to put people down only to feel good about yourself. Just because they get
promoted and you don’t, it doesn’t mean that they slept their way to the top.
Look within yourself and you’ll see what a little negative bitch you have been
all along. It’s not them, it’s you. Love yourself, only then you’ll be able to
cleanse your soul from all the hate you have for the world around you. Remember
there are always people who are better looking, have better education and speak
better English than you do. Don’t hate them for what they have achieved; love
yourself to learn to step up to their level. In that office, I was the younger
woman who has a master’s degree and her own sense of style. I think I just
reminded them of everything they are not. Don’t be like that. People you know
were not created by Allah to piss you off and disturb your buzz! They’re not
there to mess up your mood. They are individuals who happened to probably work
a little bit harder than you do. So don’t take their success as a personal
offense to you. They did not do it to piss you off. You probably didn’t even
cross their minds when they have gotten a higher degree, or bought that Abaya
you couldn’t afford, or barged into the office in those louboutins you only saw
online. Get over yourselves. If you’re not like that, then never change who you
are, be yourself and celebrate with me, because life is a satire.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Who am I you ask?
First entry was probably confusing. It probably made sense to you and
impressed you. If it did (yes you! You know who you are! It was YOUR idea) then
thank you. I did not start this blog to talk about my life (hello! It says
ANONYMOUS) I’ll be bashing society, marriage, in laws, families and whatever
comes into my mind and I’ll start with my own life. Yes, I can bash my life all
I want. Put in mind that this page has nothing to do with political views in any kind. I'm a woman, ánd I don't understand football, politics and cars. Some of you might believe that I’m a broken woman and I’m using the
internet to create this persona. On the other hand, some of you might believe
that I might be a very strong willed woman with a very weak husband who cannot
control me. Both ideas are wrong, I’m a guy. Okay I’m just kidding! Well
ironically I’m a very happily married Emirati woman. I come from a very happy
well educated background. Life is not always personal. We live in a society and
we humans live in groups. We do everything in groups, we’re not loners (loners
either end up as serial killers or socially awkward beings, there I said it.
It’s my blog I can say whatever I want. Live with it. You’ll see that a lot).
Sometimes we like to see others screw up to feel good about ourselves. That’s
how we are; we live our lives based on comparison. Didn’t most of us get the
mini luggage celine handbag because it’s the IT bag? And most of our friends
got it? Yes we did, I bet you all did! THEREFORE, we humans do look upon the
life of others. We enjoy that little sneak peak about someone else’s life. The
gossip, the secrets, all the hidden facts, that’s why we all follow the private
personal lives of celebrities because they’re accessible. We like to read all
those juicy stuff. Wouldn’t we like it if it was about that colleague of us who
got divorced because (well I don’t know) she cheated on her husband with her
brother’s best friend? Or maybe (just maybe) that girl in the finance
department who just gave birth few months ago and now she’s pregnant with her second,
third or fourth child? That’s why people ask about personal information once a
girl gets married the juicy bits: how was it? Ha sawaito shai (the literal
translation would be did you do anything? As in, did you get knocked up just
yet?), what’s the gender of the baby, how far are you? When’s your due date?
Where are you planning to deliver the baby? Why did you pick this hospital? So
and so delivered her baby in that OTHER hospital and she was happy (yeah a
woman in labor would have half the pain if she delivered her baby according to
the map society draws for her). To summarize that, what I meant to say is, we
don’t want to be the victim but the story about the martyr next door is our
guilty pleasure. And you would read all of that in this blog. If you want me
making fun of your life, sisters in law (if you don’t have those, you’re so
lucky. I have half a dozen, but hey I’m not complaining.. just yet) you can
simply email me on emirati.anonoymous@gmail.com and I’ll gladly bash them for
you. That’s what it’s all about, an anonymous blog making fun of life, marriage
and people in general (exposing all the facts, but not the personality) . So
celebrate with me, because life is a satire.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Happy Anniversary
Marriage is not as picture perfect as many girls would think it is. It’s
all about the dress, the wedding, the bouquet and the photographer isn’t it?
Well let me tell you, it totally isn’t. Men are like horses (yeah I know, great
picture). Well, they’re like horses, yes they are. They get scared of you so
they either bite, refuse listening to you or trying to break you. In horse
language they throw you off. So we will never understand them, they’ll never
understand us. First concept, anniversaries,
we married women-and I’m no different!- expect our husbands to remember our
birthdays, their birthdays, anniversaries, Eids, new year, valentines and every
day in the world where we just expect gifts, flowers, chocolates and whatever
it is we just want. I’m not sure if it’s us being all complicated and hormonal while
men being practical. Or men being
robotic and have no emotions. As a woman, I’ll just talk about it from my own
point of view. So anyway, back to anniversaries. My fourth anniversary was a
couple of days ago. In the last couple of years I expected roses, a gift or at
least dinner and I have gotten nothing because obviously he forgot (surprise,
surprise). Of course being the drama queen that I am, you can easily guess the
tears, the drama and all the “I’ll never celebrate my marriage to you ever
again”. So I decided not to care (okay I admit I was expecting something..
anything) So, people started asking me about my plans.. MY plans. Why would I
have plans? Shouldn’t it be OUR plan? HIM spoiling me? Making ME plans? Well I’m
not really sure what should be done, but I just wanted something right? Just like
that meme about women and what they want and when they want them. Yeah, I was
like that. So a friend asked me about what I’m planning to do and I told her I’m
not doing anything because I’m not in for disappointment. And she gave me words
of wisdom. She said anonymous, expect an F, so when you get a D you celebrate.
I expected a B last year and I got an F- (yes there is no F-, I know and I don’t
care). This year I expected an F and acted accordingly. Guess what? He surprised
me with a dinner invitation. I got a C, which ended as a win win situation isn’t
it? Bottom line is, ladies don’t except an A. Marriage is sadly isn’t exclusively
about us and our happiness. We make our happiness and celebrate it. So
celebrate with me, because life is a satire.
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