Í'm sorry for taking so long. I had a kidney stone and i'll leave the gory details for another day. PROMISE!
In the meantime, I'll be gentler this time with the tone (don't ask, maybe my stone was a sign of karma being a bitch or something, but i'm being nice today!)
Ps. untitledchapters, thank you for accepting me as part of the female emirati writers! iyou have given me a motive to write more entries!
In the meantime, I'll be gentler this time with the tone (don't ask, maybe my stone was a sign of karma being a bitch or something, but i'm being nice today!)
I attended my sister in law’s wedding last Thursday and my sister
pointed out something to me. She looked at me and said “the wedding is boring. Actually,
all local weddings are boring!” this got me thinking as a matter of fact. They actually
are. Our weddings are not about two people joining their lives together and
expressing their love for each other (yeah well most of them are arranged
anyway) their weddings are simply about a social commitment you expect people
to fulfill whether you like them or not. It’s not about inviting people who
will be happy for you and your loved ones; it’s basically about inviting people
to make sure they don’t get upset even if it means that you ALREADY know that
they won’t attend. And when they don’t attend, you get upset and revenge by not
attending a wedding in their family.. Then they get upset.. What a chain reaction!
When my (half American) cousin got married, her mother didn’t invite the whole family
and everything related to us to the wedding. She basically invited those who
her daughter holds dear to her heart. You know what happened?? Nothing. Those who
were invited were the ones who attended and those who weren’t invited were not
going to attend anyway. Plus it didn’t matter to them so it was a win win
situation. The wedding was amazing. It was a small intimate posh ceremony and
all attendees were the people who were truly happy for the bride and groom. The
bride danced, the groom danced with her and everybody was just dancing. It was
what weddings are supposed to be. A happy happy occasion. My wedding on the
other hand, was a typical local wedding. I honestly didn’t want it to be that
way, but my mother invited EVERYONE. You know what happened? My aunts did not
attend, because my eldest aunt hates my mother’s guts (in laws, please refer to
an older post to understand the whole dilemma). Here are the details. Okay I loved
the fact that it was sort of over the top, but I wanted less attendees. I wanted
an intimate wedding with half the people who were invited. It was funny that
when my mother was putting the list of who she wanted to invite she was writing
down the list and saying “okay I’m inviting flaneh, but she won’t attend anyway”
okay... So... You invite people you know would not attend, but you get mad
anyway. Seriously... WHY? And then there’s
this other issue with weddings. Why can’t the bride express her happiness and
dance with her friends. It’s her WEDDING DAY! It’s the day of her happiness isn’t
it? Don’t lots of brides feel happy about their wedding day? So why can’t I just
stand up on that stage and just DANCE? If I can turn back time I’d freaking
dance on my wedding night and I wouldn’t care what everybody thinks. I’d want
everybody to stand up, dance and have the time of their lives. That’s what
weddings should be all about.. happiness. They’re not about proving to others
how polished everything should be (okay they are, but there are other
priorities) I kept telling my mother for months that I didn’t want to invite
lots of people and I wanted people to dance and have fun. I’m against asking
dancers to come and dance at a wedding, because I believe dancing is a sign of
happiness and only people who are happy for the bride and groom should dance
and express their happiness for the truly wed. my sister in law’s wedding was
all about formalities. She married a cousin she hadn’t seen until her wedding
day. So here wedding was about the fact that it should be as big as her sister’s
wedding (who married a cousin she hadn’t met until her wedding too, but that’s
not the point). Everytime I attend a wedding, it’s about the formalities. I attend
because I’m invited. I’m invited because I’m a relative, or a friend, or a
friend of a friend, or a friend of a relative. Being invited to a wedding isn’t
about you being special and held dear to the bride or groom. It’s just about
filling the ballroom with the biggest number of people possible and that makes
no sense to me. I really hope the belief transitions into smaller ceremonies
with lots of happiness where we can all laugh, dance and have fun! I want to
see a journey far away from all these social beliefs about weddings and
understand that a wedding is a symbol of joining the lives of two people. A
wedding is a celebration of love, happiness and acceptance to the journey ahead.
Celebrate with me, because life is a satire.
Ps. untitledchapters, thank you for accepting me as part of the female emirati writers! iyou have given me a motive to write more entries!